All Trumped Up
By Lauren Foster
Oh god, another Trump article. And by an American, too, how bloody predictable. Listen, I know. I get it, trust me. This is just as bad as the whole William and Kate Royal Wedding bullshit that everyone was gagging for a while back. Just hear me out.
Living abroad during the campaign means an automatic exclusion from a lot of the information being shoved down the throats of our fellow Americans, and makes it a lot more difficult to keep up with which candidate offended which nation or group of people at any given time. As I ticked the box on my absentee ballot, I knew I was choosing between a rock and a slightly more blonde rock.
This election is rigged. Not in a ‘oh the votes are fake, someone’s been cheating’ kind of way, but in a ‘holy shit we’re fucked as a nation’ kind of way. Now listen. I was raised by my (Southern) father as a conservative – that’s the opposite of the party that elected Obama for all you Brits – and even I know how horrendous this hand we’ve been dealt is.
Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe all we need is a President like Trump or Clinton to really make Americans sit back and reevaluate the crap decisions they must have made to let this happen. Maybe the 2016 elections are our Brexit. Maybe if we all hope and pray and click our heels three times, Michelle Obama will become a third unofficial candidate.
Regardless, on the 8th of November, the entire world will be watching America. Most of us with breath held and a strong drink in our hands. Happy voting.